So our on the road experience was behind us, and a truly great trip it was too.
Our return coincided with picking up the keys for the house. We had been lucky in one sense, as we did not have any where to live when we returned. We got a call, at about 11am, the day before we were due to go on the road, from an Agent who was willing to show us a furnished property, at 4pm that afternoon, at a place called The Vines. We had no idea where this was, but our circumstances dictated that we had to look at it. It was also unusal that the agent would give us a personal viewing.
So we set off, directions in hand. As usual, we got lost, The Vines is a resort area, which has two golf courses and full leisure facilities, tennis courts, squash courts, gym and two pools, as well as restaurants and bars, but it’s about 40 minutes from the beach area we had been living.
Any way, we were all pleasantly surprised just how nice it was, great little spot, in a cul de sac, three bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge, dining area and snug. After the viewing we went to The Resort itself, had a couple of beers, generally checked it out and decided it was for us. Whilst, sitting on the terrace, bugger me didn’t we get our first proper view of wild kangaroo’s, there were dozens of them hopping all over the golf course.
We called the agent the next morning and told her we would have it.
Wednesday 1st December, a very busy day was ahead. We left the dump that was The Swan Valley Caravan Park went to the agents, filled in all the forms, paid the dosh and collected the keys to 14 Watervista Close, The Vines, Perth WA 6069. It’s on Google earth if you wanna take a look. Unloaded the motor home of all our gear, set off to the local Kia agent to pick up our NEW Rio, METALLIC silver, 5 door hatch back, in car CD, Bluetooth connection, electric windows (front only!!), parcel shelf, TINTED windows, AIR CONDITIONING. Dropped the motor home back, Our Wend picked me up, won't expand upon that, I'll let Our Wend tell you some other time, then back to the billet for a sort out.
Cool Eh?
14 Watervista Close, The Vines
The house is about a 10 min walk, or 5 min bike ride from Resort itself, we have now joined the leisure club and the kids have been in the pool at some point every day.
The house is about a 10 min walk, or 5 min bike ride from Resort itself, we have now joined the leisure club and the kids have been in the pool at some point every day.
We needed to get some bits and pieces, home comforts etc. The nearest decent size shopping area to where we are is a place called Midland, we had up until then being going to Joondalup, brand new, very nice, much like shopping in Solihull or Selfridges. Nothing had prepared us for MIDLAND.
WOW I just couldn’t believe my eyes, Kalgoorlie, would not of had a mention if I had been here first. I was walking around with my mouth open I thought I had been transported to Mars or dropped on the set of Little Britain. I was sitting outside the supermarket waiting for Our Wend and the kids and this chap walked by, my astonishment must have been written all over my face, because he said to me, 'yeah moyt, a lot of strange folk shop in Midland'.
It’s pretty difficult to describe the types, but they ALL have tattoo’s, in varying amounts and unusual places, but they have all got them. A very large proportion have studs sticking out of various places on their faces, and God knows where else. Hairdo’s, Mohican, cropped, Human League type, whatever that’s called, every colour you can imagine. Sizes, some 5 stone dripping wet right up to 30 stone, some walking, and a lot in electric trucks, too large to walk. This woman who was behind us at the checkout, at least 18 stone, walking, all she had in her basket was, a shower gel bottle, and at least 6 pairs of exfoliating gloves, you know them grey ones you can get, that your missus has got hanging up your shower.. Now I don’t know whether she was going home to get in the shower and try to exfoliate 9 stone off herself, but someone needs to set her straight!
Another guy we saw in the food hall had the word HOLDEN tattoed in red and very, very large letters across his shoulders. Holden is a car manufacturer over here, I think they have some sort of association with Vauxhall as the models look very similiar. Who, if they were in their right mind would have the name of a motor manufacturer tattoed on their back? Your wife, girlfriend, dog, even the infamous Love/Hate, but I ask you. Mind you, can't imagine that anyone has took the mickey about it, he was that big he could have had Mitsubishi in the same size letters and had space to spare.
Another guy we saw in the food hall had the word HOLDEN tattoed in red and very, very large letters across his shoulders. Holden is a car manufacturer over here, I think they have some sort of association with Vauxhall as the models look very similiar. Who, if they were in their right mind would have the name of a motor manufacturer tattoed on their back? Your wife, girlfriend, dog, even the infamous Love/Hate, but I ask you. Mind you, can't imagine that anyone has took the mickey about it, he was that big he could have had Mitsubishi in the same size letters and had space to spare.
I consoled myself that this was possibly a one off experience, it wasn’t!!, but we have been a few times now, didn’t need any shopping just went for a look and a good laugh! Wendie was there just before Christmas and withnessed a couple of guys trying to knock lumps out of each other over a car parking space. Midland, I love it.
I don't think anyone has noticed I'm p****d
Since moving into the house, we have had one or two creepy crawlie experiences, we've seen lots of lizards, and gekko's, plus one or two very very scary looking spiders, but most have been OUTSIDE the house. The first one was actually our first night and I thought Our Wend was gonna have kittens and we would have to move out.
We were sitting watching TV, (Oz TV is the worst I have ever experienced. Forget that its absolutely s***e, you never actually know when one programme has finished and the other one has started)) when Our Wend got up to go to the fridge, well, you would have thought she had seen a tarantula with the scream she let out. It was only a cockroach, sizeable I’ll give her that, but only a cockroach.
“we can’t stay here, we can’t stay here, WE CAN”T STAY HERE”
“it’s only a cockroach luv, it won’t hurt you”
“I can’t stay here, I can’t stay here”
“just calm down, just calm down, CRUNCH” as I put my foot on it.
“I can’t stay here Pete”
“well, as they are everywhere you go in Australia luv, where do you suggest we go and live?!!”
She eventually calmed down after I’d put a gallon of bleach down the drains and she accepted that they are part of living here. We’ve seen loads since, even in the printer. I have a sad habit of recycling paper, I had photocopied something or other and when I looked at it, there was a great colour image of a cockroach, in a very abstract position at the foot of the page. I immediately thought that I had put the recycled page in the printer the wrong way around, until I lifted the lid and there he was twiddling his antenna's at me.
The next CC (creepy crawlie) encounter, was when I was upstairs and Our Wend, Little Niamh and PJ were on there way up. There was an ear piercing scream from Little Niamh
“Spider, spider, spider, Mom, Dad come quickly, spider”
“Calm down, calm down” I shouted from upstairs, “sort the spider out luv will ya?”
“Pete, you need to come and see this, just look at it, its massive?” said Our Wend
“Don’t be so dramatic, just get some kitchen towel, grab it and chuck it down the toilet”
“No, no, you gotta come and see this, quick” said PJ
“I’m busy at the mo”, I wasn’t, just can’t stand spiders and I know I would have had to do the catching!
They eventually caught it and down the loo it went, although I didn’t see it, thank God, Peter reckons it was a Huntsman, which are very common here, not life threatening but very scary. The have a diameter of 6
inches, big compared to what we are used to in the UK.
inches, big compared to what we are used to in the UK.
It was about 9pm, Little Niamh is sitting on the sofa and she spots a……………….………………………………………………..SNAKE, yes a ******* SNAKE, we all saw it, the smell of discharging bowels in the room would knock you out!!! Yep, it looked like a snake, it moved like a snake, PJ couldn’t help himself, he wanted to get as close as poss, I’m worried he gets too close. As it turns out, PJ gets close enough to spot it has tiny little legs, it’s only a Gekko, thank goodness. Panic over. PJ, ever a source and fountain of knowledge, some would say, other might say bleedin’ know all, proceeds to tell us that’s a good thing, because they eat cockroaches, so we should just leave it to go wherever it wants in the house. Its one way of keeping the cockroach population down. Gekko/snake immediately goes from public enemy number one, to our friend called George, thanks for that Little Niamh. The kids come down every morning now calling “Geroge, George where are you?”
The Ashes test cricket has rolled into town, as have me old mates John Rose and Chris Lea, some of you will not know them, most of you will!! John arrived on Friday 10th December, quite late and was collected by his good friend John Pritchett, who’s hospitality he would be enjoying for the duration of his stay.
Saturday 11th December, 8am, Rosie is on the mobile
“Skerritt? Rosie here, fancy breakfast at The Blue Duck, Cottesloe Beach? Can only do brekkie today, I’m meeting a pal of mine at the races at midday”
“OK, no probs, see you in a bit”
So breakfast is very nice, The Blue Duck is the place to have it that’s for sure, it’s about 45 mins from The Vines, full of the world’s lovely people, some of them VERY lovely people, your hard against the beach sitting on a balcony, looking out across Cottesloe Beach to the Indian Ocean, playground to the rich and famous, with prices to match!!
Rosie decides he ain’t going to the races, he’s going to show me around for a couple of hours. Uh Uh, sounds dangerous.
We ended up in a place called Subiaco, very stock broker belt ish. He pointed out a few eatery’s that me and Our Wend should try out at sometime or other. The main attraction was the Subiaco Hotel, or ‘The Subie’ as it’s affectionately known. This, according to Rosie, is where the Aussie cricket team hang out when they are in town. Although it’s a ‘Hotel’ in actual fact it’s not, it’s a pub! According to Rosie, hotels in Oz are pubs!
“So, what does that make The Hyatt Hotel?” seemed a reasonable question to me. Can’t tell you here what Rosie said, but for those who know Rosie, you can guess.
Its 11.30am now,
“Shall we have a quick one?” says Rosie.
“Be rude not to” says I.
We cross the threshold, well you would have needed to be a blind man not to instantly realise what the Aussie cricket team’s attraction to this place was, or any other team for that matter!!
It, on a Saturday anyway, appeared to be the meeting place, to do lunch, for all the wives and girlfriends of all the wealthy males in this and the surrounding suburbs, whilst hubby is indulging in his favourite Saturday pastime.
They are NOT casually dressed, they all look like they have just stepped off the set of ‘Desperate Housewives’, in fact they make the cast of that show look like paupers.
What did you say?
To say that me and Rosie looked under dressed and out of place would be an understatement. That did not deter us, as 5 hours and 6 pints later, we emerged!! I refused to drive, so Rosie did!Now when Rosie visits Perth he only ever stays with John Pritchett, he lives in Cottesloe, which is pretty much where it’s at in Perth, close to everything that’s Perth. Now, The Vines, well Rosie thought we had left Western Australia by the time we had got there. Still had a couple of beers by the pool when we got back, before having some dinner, and you can imagine it was then early to bed. Have not been the worse for wear since leaving the UK, nearly 8 weeks, John Rose is in the country for less than 24 hours, and I'm bladdered, I've the will power of a nat!!!!!!
Yep, had a couple of rounds of golf now. First was Monday 13th December at The Lakes course, here at The Vines, great nick, greens 12 on the stimp. Played with Rosie, Little Niamh drove the buggy and we had a super day.
"I am breathing in"
Also played the next day at Lake Karrinyup. Little Aston have reciprocal with them, very posh, great course though, they have had the Australian Open there a few times. I think Jack Nicklaus won it once there. Ernie Els won the Johnnie Walker there with a 22 under four round score. He didn't find it too difficult eh?
Well, had a great few days at the cricket, my good pal Chris Lea came up trumps with the tickets for me, thanks Chris. Went four days in the end, which was a first for me. Usually only go for one day, the unpredictability of the weather in the UK being the main reason for that. The last days ticket was courtesy of John Pritchett, thanks John.
Proper cricket watcher me now you know, Our Wend made me lunch everyday, fruit, sarnies, water (you can’t take booze in), crisps, you know the full works. Got the train in everyday, all the buses in the city are free to the ground. On the third day, Our Wend and Little Niamh came into town and whilst we were at the cricket, they went 'lolly popping'. Met a real nice Geordie guy, Shaun, on the train, who invited us on the Sunday to his twin kids third birthday party. Top bloke.
Once you are in the ground, there are places all over the ground where you can get sunscreen, ice cold water and bags of ice for your coolers and its all free.
What me? Been a cricket watcher for years mate
In some ways, mostly sitting next to a complete stranger, you see far more cricket, also having the packed lunch. The prospect of the beer breaks is something that you really look forward to. Large areas of the ground are also alcohol free, so there is no drinking in the seating areas anyway. Not to popular with the locals are also the rules about buying beer. Up until 2pm you can buy four beers at a time, this is 4.20 pounds for about 3/4 of a pint!! If you buy 4, 16.80, and you need a tray, they charge 50p for a cardboard 'thingy' to carry them in!!. After 2pm, you can only by two beers at a time and after 4pm its just one. Some of the guys were going mental.
Took Little Pete day three, (that was a real highlight, although he read books most of the day), the day the streaker showed up.
Took Little Pete day three, (that was a real highlight, although he read books most of the day), the day the streaker showed up.
The tickets I had for that day were in the scoreboard stand. This was a temporary stand that they erect for test matches only, to the left of the scoreboard. It does not have a roof and therefore it’s got the sun full on it ALL DAY.
Frying Pan on the left
If you couple that with the fact that the flooring is metal, you feel like your cooking, me and Pete nick named it ‘The Frying Pan’. The morning wasn’t too bad, as it was quite cool, but in the afternoon, it was sizzling, literally. PJ had to go walkabout every 10 mins to get out of the sun.
He was in his seat when the streaker appeared, I'd got some really powerful binoculars with me, which Peter immediately trained on the streaker, 'Oh that’s disgusting' he said, got “a real good shot” before the security and Police managed to cover the chaps bits and pieces. I'm told it’s an $8,000 fine for streaking in public over here. Have to say, he didn't look like he would have $8, never mind $8k!!!!!!
The Barmey Army were in fine voice throughout the event, including the bugler, they managed to wind up quite a few Aussies, which did result in the odd scuffle here and there, mainly because the Aussies couldn’t bite back on the wit like the Barmey boys could. On the whole nothing too serious though, all good clean fun.
This is the view from the deck of the pub that The Barmey Army made their headquarters.
Everyday bar non, I met Chris Lea and his two boys, Tom and Richard at lunch time and tea for beers. Boy those beers tasted good. By the way you guys, I hear you finally made it to The Subie!!!!!
On the last day I was in the Members area, pretty cool place, saw how the other half had seen the game, very nice and as you might imagine, air conditioned. At the end of the game the Aussie players were chucking, autographed, what looked like real cricket balls, into the crowd. One ball didn’t make it and ended up on a sun awning just below us. After a while a gust of wind blew it into the crowd below. The guy who picked it up’ looked up at us, quick as a flash I shouted “Hey, I’ve just dropped that”, good as gold he threw it up to me. Nice little momento, it had been signed by Steve Smith, the guy standing next to me didn’t look too impressed.
Shame about the result in the end but had a brilliant time, just wish I was going to Melbourne and Sydney.
So we left the ground tails between our legs and headed off to met Chris and the boys for a beer in the town. The whole place was pretty quite, I guess with it finishing early everyone had headed off to do whatever it is they do on a normal Sunday.
Said my good byes to Chris, wouldn't see he now until God knows when, and they set off with Rosie to The Subie!!
I headed for the train, as Our Wend and the kids were picking me up at the station and we were going to that kids party.
Eventually found Shauns house, nice place, got its own pool, the kids were made up, pool, other kids, sweets, heaven. About 15 adults there, all of them bar 1 was a Geordie, everyone made us really welcome. Our Wend said that she would drive back, so we just took the one bottle of fizzy red with us! Well, she was sitting with all the girlies, rabbiting, whilst trying to remove the cork from this WARM bottle of fizzy red. The top eventually came off and half the contents ended up on at least 6 of the folk sitting around her. The Skerritts had landed, they won't forget us in a hurry. Had a very nice time and in true tradition were the last to leave. Anyway, the red wine debacal must have been forgotten, because we have been invited over again, or it may have been because Our Wend did all the washing up after the do, whats she like eh?
Eventually found Shauns house, nice place, got its own pool, the kids were made up, pool, other kids, sweets, heaven. About 15 adults there, all of them bar 1 was a Geordie, everyone made us really welcome. Our Wend said that she would drive back, so we just took the one bottle of fizzy red with us! Well, she was sitting with all the girlies, rabbiting, whilst trying to remove the cork from this WARM bottle of fizzy red. The top eventually came off and half the contents ended up on at least 6 of the folk sitting around her. The Skerritts had landed, they won't forget us in a hurry. Had a very nice time and in true tradition were the last to leave. Anyway, the red wine debacal must have been forgotten, because we have been invited over again, or it may have been because Our Wend did all the washing up after the do, whats she like eh?
I was hoping to get a game of golf in with Chris and Rosie before they both left but we all just ran out of time. I met Rosie for a farewell beer at The Subie, to show him some DVD’s of past golf trips, Bacchanalian days out and Bachs on Tour. They were good times, some fallen heroes, Jim Ryan, Richard Parker, real good days those were. No one had white hair in those days. Although Rosie doesn’t have white hair these days either!
Poignant, makes you appreciate a lot of stuff, eh Rosie, ‘Oh, think twice, just another day for you and me in paradise’
All is still good here, every day we set off about 4pm on our bikes to the pool. Kids have a couple of hours in there, whilst me and Our Wend chill out with a beer and a glass of wine, or two. It was the other evening whilst we were chilling that the subject of getting a window cleaner came up. Not quite sure why I didn't think at the time that I could do it, not as if I haven't got the time. Well, as it happenned Our Wend had the number of a window cleaner, so she gave him a call.
Our house has three patio windows, and 4 ordinary windows, she relayed this to our window cleaner friend, for a price for inside and out..
"Yep............Yep............ok, thanks, I'll let my husband know and come back to you."
She turned to me, "how much do you think?"
I thought for a minute, related it to our house in the UK and the office "40 bucks?"
I've known Our Wend over 20 years and I have never, never, never seen her laugh like she did. She was laughing that much she couldn't tell me what he had said.
She eventually calmed down and she told me, $350 (in todays money 229 quid), for Gods sake don't anyone tell Johnny Wootten. It was a days work according to him!! We are going to be window cleaners, not everyday, just a couple of days a week should do it.
Well its Christmas, and there seems to be a tradition with some folk over here to decorate you house with as much as you possibly can, I gather the local rag runs a competiton for the best one.
We went to Ocean Reef one night and had a look around one particular cul-de-sac, which it would seem that the residents have a competition between themselves. Its quite a surreal experience looking at Christmas stuff whilst walking around wearing flip flops and shorts.
Im finishing this off Christmas day night, sad eh? We have just got back from the pool, 40 degrees today folks, Skyped the Edwards and Palmers, tried to Skype Chris Leech, talked to or kid and his Clan in bonny Scotland and feeling pretty sentimental.
Have a wonderful Christmas everyone, and a very happy and prosperous New Year, above all make sure you keep in touch.
The Skerritts.
Our house has three patio windows, and 4 ordinary windows, she relayed this to our window cleaner friend, for a price for inside and out..
"Yep............Yep............ok, thanks, I'll let my husband know and come back to you."
She turned to me, "how much do you think?"
I thought for a minute, related it to our house in the UK and the office "40 bucks?"
I've known Our Wend over 20 years and I have never, never, never seen her laugh like she did. She was laughing that much she couldn't tell me what he had said.
She eventually calmed down and she told me, $350 (in todays money 229 quid), for Gods sake don't anyone tell Johnny Wootten. It was a days work according to him!! We are going to be window cleaners, not everyday, just a couple of days a week should do it.
We went to Ocean Reef one night and had a look around one particular cul-de-sac, which it would seem that the residents have a competition between themselves. Its quite a surreal experience looking at Christmas stuff whilst walking around wearing flip flops and shorts.
Im finishing this off Christmas day night, sad eh? We have just got back from the pool, 40 degrees today folks, Skyped the Edwards and Palmers, tried to Skype Chris Leech, talked to or kid and his Clan in bonny Scotland and feeling pretty sentimental.
Have a wonderful Christmas everyone, and a very happy and prosperous New Year, above all make sure you keep in touch.
The Skerritts.
