Where We Live

Well, believe it or not we have now been here 6 months, time really does seem to go so quickly. It’s been a roller coaster from the day we arrived, 3 weeks at Scarborough Beach, Our Wendie’s little wobble about home, 2 weeks on the road touring the south west and the goldfields in our Winnebago, (that has been the one of the highlights so far), buying a car, all the traumas of finding a house to live in, getting the kids schools sorted

Front view of Pete's school

Niamh's school

, the little gem we found that is The Vines Resort,

Practice Area at The Vines

Spend a nice few hours here every week. Lovely!!!

all the folks we can now call our new friends, the house we have bought in Aveley,

Looking down Pirianda Way, our house on the corner on the right

Looking towards our nearest park, just beyond the red car

Looking opposite way, house is on my right elbow.

all the shopping for the furniture and décor, (You can imagine how Our Wend loved that bit!), the new sparkling pool,

You've heard of The Committments, well these are The Lunatics

my new golf club, our first weekend away at a place called Moore River

Champion Fisherwoman

and the final piece of the jigsaw is the fish and chip shop we are in the process of buying (just waiting for confirmation that they will assign the lease to us, no guarantees yet though). Yep, just call me Pete the Greek peoples!!
We can all honestly say that where we are living really suits us at the moment and ticks all the boxes (with the exception of not being right on the beach, although it’s only half an hour away) so we are battening down the hatches and gonna settle in and work towards our permanent residency, which will take 2/3 years.
We now live in Aveley which is a suburb in the wine growing region known as The Swan Valley, about 40 minutes northeast of Perth CBD, its sits alongside Ellenbrook, which is tipped for big things, and just 5/10 minutes away is The Vines, very up market, most homes are on 1 acre blocks and in the $1m bracket.
Ellenbrook has an enormous shopping area, which has just been extended and there is talk of a phase 3. This is the main shopping centre it is only 2 minutes in the car.

The Shops at Ellenbrook

Yep Woollies is alive and trading over here.

And BIG W

The area also has 3 ovals (Coolamon, Ellenbrook and Charlottes Vineyard)  all within 5 minutes of the house), these are basically very large open spaces which have Aussie rules football pitches, cricket nets, basketball courts, tennis courts, skate parks and running tracks, kids play areas, all accessible any time to any one and completely free,

Coolamon Oval, tennis, basketball and skate park are to the right of the Clubhouse

Rear view of Peters school on top of the hill. Dogs secure running area is on the right, you can just see the fence.

Charlottes Vineyard Oval

a bowling club with a 8 greens (costs $15 per annum membership, has a bar and coffee shop), loads of open spaces with lakes,

This is Woodlake, its situated right by Niamhs school.
Directly over the top of the ducks head is the amphitheatre, which they use for outdoor plays and movie shows. They used it recently for the ANZAC day celebrations.

Taken from the other side of the lake.

Another view of Woodlake.

running tracks, kiddies play areas (there are dozens of these, there are five within a 5 minute walk of where we live) a water park,

Ellenbrook town centre lake. The area with the sails over the top is a kids free water park

Another view of the water park, changing rooms on the left, free barbecues in foreground

swimming baths, mountain bike park, free library, snooker club, only one pub would you believe but it is huge,

Ellenbrook High Street, the pub is on the opposite side of the square, just to the right of the fountains. All of the building is the pub!!

3 high schools, 4 primary schools plus a new one being built at the moment, 4 kindergartens and two new churches being built at this time, plus a new smaller shopping area in Aveley itself. All the above, including all the houses would occupy an area about the size of Sutton Coldfield. There is really no reason to go further than a 5/10 minute drive for anything. Never see a traffic jam, driving is a pleasure again.
There is a massive emphasis on providing open, free access recreational space, these all have drinking water fountains, free gas barbecue’s, benches, structures or sails to keep you out of the sun.

These are some of our neighbours. They live in a scrub area just next to us. They are totally wild.
The next set of pictures, the lakes, are just beyond the fence that keeps these fellas in.

One of the many lakes/water features of the Aveley estate. All have lawned picnic areas.

This is a chill out area situated between the two lakes. The barbecues in the foreground are gas and free to use.

Same set of lakes from bridge between the two. The barbecues previously mentioned are situated just over the top of the jetty on the right.

Yet another lake, two minutes walk from the previous one. They are popular for boating and messing about with model boats.
The mulicoloured roof construction is another kiddies play area.

They even provide the poo bags free of charge for you to dispose of your dog’s mess!! You are not allowed to have your dog off the leash, so they provide large purpose built fenced areas that you can take your dog to and let them run around freely. These have a double gate system, so there is now way that your dog can accidentally get out.

This is our nearest park, its a 2 minute walk. Our house is just over the top of the gazebo. The track I am standing on is a running track, with workout stations positioned around it at intervals.

This is the kiddies play area. You can just make it out on the previous picture on the right hand side. Thats Niamh Peter Jodie and Sean in view.

Peter and his pal had an incident recently at the local skate park. We had dropped him and Joel off with a view to picking them up later, but no sooner had we left them that Peter had called to say that Joel had been hit by this aboriginal kid.
Well, about a week before hand I took Peter to the same skate park and witnessed this same kid, who is about 11/12, round on some bigger boys, they would have been about 15/16, and nick $20 off them. He then skedaddled on his bike which prompted these lads to let him know he was going be in trouble if he did not come straight back with the dosh. He made it pretty clear he had no intention of coming back or giving the dosh back, the language he came out with was just incredible for a kid of his age, for that matter a kid of any age! He also told them that if they even tried to get the money, he would bring his Dad and his brothers down to sort them all out. The bigger lads at that pretty much told him he could keep the money it’s was ok, they were only joking!!
I know he is only a kid, but he is probably thee most disgusting specimen that I have ever seen in my whole life, (he epitomises what people have told me about aboriginals), his future isn’t looking too Rosey.

Took a bit of getting but managed to snap him going to school with his Mom. Pretty ain't he?!!!

Anyway, Our Wend went back there, poor Joel, who is no small kid, was completely distraught; I was quite surprised he had not defended himself. So Our Wend, good as gold, gave the abbo the full ‘Northfield Roar’, right up close and personal. She then called the Police. As you might expect, he and his family are well known, he denied doing anything, but the Police made it very clear that he was in serious trouble if there is a report again. His Mother also couldn’t believe her little boy would do anything like that!! It then came out that he goes to the same school as Ella and Marley and he is a nightmare there, totally uncontrollable. We passed him in the car the other day, PJ begged me to run him over, gotta say I was tempted!!
What the little s**t did not know is that Joel’s Dad, Serg, is a ‘rigger’ (a steel frame building erector), sizeable and looks really useful and not to be messed with, his brother Aiden, 14, is a very fit looking lad, hairier than anyone I know looks about 16 , and also looks a mean as hell. They were going to pay the skate park a visit and Aiden is going to put the fear of God up this little lad and Serg is going along in case he wants to bring his brothers and or his Dad down. Serg was not too complimentary about our aboriginal friends I can tell you. Elvira, Serg’s missus said would Aiden really hit him, Serg said, ‘Yeah, if I tell him to!’
What was I doing whilst all this was going on I hear you ask, on the golf course where else, thank goodness!!!!
Other than our abbo, all the kids are so polite and friendly, they just have the best time and spend hours in the skate park.
Main benefits of being in Aveley are that the kid’s schools are so close by, we cycle every morning, but they are so close you could even walk. The kids are also so close to all their school pals, they have regular sleepovers at their house or they come to ours, they are all so nearby. It’s such a difference not having to take them in the car and pick them up afterwards, a real treat. They are on the verge of coming and going on their own soon, it’s very safe here, although the locals don’t think so, it is really.
We had a first weekend away recently, seems funny being in this sort of climate and going away for a break!

Tammy & Jackie, lazy Gits!!

See any fish yet?

We went just north of here, with Daren, Jackie, Scott & Tammy, their two kids Alex & Brook, to a place called Moore River, about an hour’s drive, aptly named as it’s the point where the Moore River meets the sea. We rented a beautiful home and went beach fishing Saturday and river fishing Sunday. None of us caught anything Saturday, (did get through a large quantity of beer though), but on Sunday, Daren caught 4, Brook, Scottie and Alex caught 2 each, Niamh caught 3, she can now cast herself and reels ‘em in on her own, the big girls didn’t fish and caught the same amount as the Peter’s, precisely nowt!!!

All aboard

It needed 3 to get me in and 5 to get me out!!!!! Didn't realise I still had a black bit on the back of me 'ed.

Scottie & Niamh. Beat that. No we didn't buy it in the bag, you use the bag to get a firm hold on the fish. Novices!!!!!

Not another one Noo Ni?

Dazza at work

The scenery was terrific, there were buzzards flying overhead, and stingrays swimming literally 2mtrs from the shore, pelicans the size of sheep,

He was big!!

parrots, just amazing. I should have bashed the stingray it on the head when I had the chance, ‘cus I was never going to catch a fish any other way!!!!
We have had one or two encounters with these

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGg

But we have also seen one or two of these

aaaaahhhhhhh

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

The Skerritts in Oz

Ya Gotta Have Friends!!

Thought we would introduce you to a few of the friends we have made and people we have met since we got here.

John Pritchett

JP as he is known, is a Brummie, and has been here in Oz for over 35 years, and boy has he done well for himself. A really great friend of John Rose. JP and his wife Barbara have been really good to us since we arrived, and JP in particular to me. JP has taken me for golf at Lake Karrinyup, the premier golf club in Perth, I have also enjoyed a couple of very enlightening lunches too, and look forward to many more.

I have met one or two folk in my life who purport to speak their mind, but JP is one of finest exponents of it and REALLY does speak his mind, no holding back.  
Favourite saying 'sensational'.

He needs to sort that genitalia irritation problem though, he spoilt the picture!!!

Barbara Pritchett

Great cook, I understand she was a very competent tennis player in her day, also plays a bit of golf.

Scottie & Alex

As the name implies, yes he is a ‘Jock’, been here about 15 years, very gregarious character, larger than life, extremely generous guy, very reliable, carpenter by trade, has his own business and works on the tools, He has a joiners shop based in Wangara. Has a very successful business, works and plays hard. Prodigious drinker, particularly a drop of the red, great singer, (ring any bells Roachy, watch out, you have competition), his rendition of 'Mustang Sally' would take some beating. He has inflicted many a bad head on me since I arrived here. God bless ya! Favourite saying 'I wonder what the poor people are doing today'.
Thats Alex his lad, proper lad, not bad at the Aussie rules either. Niamh reckons he fancies her!

Tammy (Scotties Missus)
Married to Scottie 13 years (wedding anniversary same day as Our Wend’s birthday). Great fun, knows how to enjoy herself, and keep Scottie in check (which is good news sometimes), loves to play netball, and pretty good at it, recently winning a local tournament. Works at the post office in Whitfords Shopping Centre.

Nice Balinese decoration don't you think?

Brook (Scottie & Tammy’s daughter)

Good as gold, has really hit it off with Niamh. 

Like her Mom or what

Noel Rigby

Massive Bolton Wanderers fan, (what a shame they lost 5-0 in the FA cup semi!!!!!) other than that he is a good guy!! He has been here for the last three months trying to get gainful employment with an oil Company, so he can come back asap, and have all his moving and living expenses paid for. Yeah, he is an astute bugger too. Great with the kids, keeps them entertained with all sorts of little games and word ditties. He will be missed whilst he is away, not least, ‘cus we will now have to look after our own kids, while we are at the pool having a drink.

There is an ugly rumour flying about that he is back on the 6th May

Peter, Julie & Cracker 

We bought our house from them, Peter is an electrician would you believe, and Julie is a serial house builder /interior designer. I think this house we are living in is the 5th one they have built.

Peter is my very own personal hire shop, as I don't have any tools here at all, fortunately he only lives around the corner, so I have access to more tools than B&Q or Bunnings, which is what they have here.

Julie really is a serious interior designer. He recent acquisition is a pair of giraffe chairs, not a clue, have not seen them. She has also had Peter painting some walls in their new house BLACK!!

As for Cracker, what a brill dog. He is just getting right after having chemo for a tumour on his nose, but you wouldn't know anything had been wrong with him, he has so much energy. I have also seen him reduce a golf ball to tatters in about 1 minute flat.

Sit still Cracker



'Where's that ball gone?'



Bob Crielly & Mary Crielly

Big buddy of Noel, also works in the oil industry, has been here in Perth for a few years now. Should be moving into his new house on The Vines in a few weeks, got a great pitch overlooking the golf course. Another Scot, there are flippin’ hundreds of ‘em at The Vines.

He and Noel are well known for winning every pub quiz they have had at The Vines. Now that Noel has gone, let’s see how successful Bob is!!!!!!!

Mary works at the local women’s prison would you believe, some sort of teacher there I think.

We went with her and Bob to see Michael Buble, it would be ungentlemanly of me to divulge what happened that evening. Mary, you owe me one!!!!



At the Buble concert



Louise Crielly (Bob & Mary’s daughter)

Our one and only baby sitter, and the kids love her, especially Niamh. Bit of a drummer.

Little Keithy and his wife Sue

Cabinet maker and all round good egg. Yorkshire man born and bred, been here in Oz, 20 plus years, worked around the country a fair bit. Loves his golf, is also the proud owner of two Love Birds, yep,  real ones, talks about it all the time.

Favourite saying, ask him anything ‘all good’
Recently had the good fortune to play golf with him, what a gent, competent at it too.


I'm watching you Keithy!!

 Susie is also a Yorkshire lass, I think, definitely the boss in their family, sorry Keithy!

Thailand Keith

As the name would imply, he likes visiting Thailand, for the cultural experiences that it provides!!!! He is there at the moment I think, hope he is ok, he only recently had his hernias done!!!!! Will probably need 'em doing again when he gets back!!!

Absolutely golf mad, loves to swim everyday too, lives in a fab drum overlooking the 18^th fairway on The Ellenbrook course at The Vines.

Rod Stewart looky likey.

Thats his 'I'm off to Thailand ' smile. Its very similiar to "I've had three pints' smile!!

Scottie

Another bloody Scotsman, works behind the bar, and until recently was our next door neighbour. He only arrived here a few weeks before us and has settled in brilliantly. He must, as part of his visa requirement, work in some farming environment for three months (don’t ask, I don’t know), which he will start in a couple of weeks’ time. Hope he comes back afterwards, he is always good fun and looks after us.

When he and the other Scottie start having a conversation, I swear they are talking Swahili, well they might aswell be.

No photo available, he's buggered off up north before I could snap him.

Alan

Our hairdresser, and ANOTHER bloody Scotsman.

Alan is gay, mind you he has been kissing Our Wend so often lately I think he might be contemplating going straight. What’s the opposite to ‘coming out’, is it ‘going in’? he needs to be careful ‘cus that’s how is trouble started in the first place.

Seriously, he is one of the nicest chaps you could possibly wish to meet, a truly good person.

And hey Richard (Shampoo), he can cut my hair in 10 minutes flat, you used to take 45!!!! Mind you he does charge me, ah well ya can’t have it all can ya?





Nice tat!!

Lisa, David & Issac

David is 16 and a really nice lad.  He works at  The Vines part time and on Saturdays helps Alan, our hairdresser at his shop.  David is one of the nicest young lads I have met, very sensitive and sweet and always smiling (Our Wend wrote this)

Issac, really nice courteous young man, manners are impeccable, always comes and says hello, fine handshake for such a young lad.
Lisa used to be part of the management at The Vines until she got head hunted by a pub that opened in Ellenbrook. By all accounts The Vines has suffered since she moved on.





Issac second from left, David third from the right. That's there Mom Lisa .

Brendan, Aisling, Jodie & Sean

We met Aisling on the first day of term at Niamh’s school.  She’s from Ireland, a little town called Cork, and she is a right laugh, everything is “fecking this fecking that”  She has two children Sean, (he’s in Niamh’s class and fancy's the pants off her, so Niamh says!! Little Niamh has a few admirers, so Niamh says!!) and Jodie, (good God she is loud), who is in year 6 – really nice kids and they get on great with our two.

Hubby Brendan, also known as Ben (no I haven't missed the r) & John, John is actually his first name!!! Not a clue, don't ask, but only in Ireland eh? Likes a drop or two, typically Irish, brill sense of humour, his one liners and delivery of them is just brilliant, smashing bloke.

Serg, Elvira, Aiden (yellow shirt), Joel and Zorro

Elvira is Mum to Joel and wife to Serg.  She lovely and has made us very welcome since we got here.  She owns her own very up market Beauty Salon, where Our Wend has already given it the once over and had a massage -  very nice!!!!
Serg is in construction, steel erection I think, he has just finished a fab house which sits right behind the practice field tee, brilliant spot. Loves his golf, looks like he may have done a bit of Aussie rules in his day.
Aiden very quite boy, doesn't say much really, not to me anyway, likes his Aussie rules, he is going be a killer with the girlie's in the next couple of years!
Joel is really good friends with Peter, they have played a lot together since we got here, lots of sleep overs etc, they are real good together.
What can you say about Zorro eh? Boss of their house.

Raani, Marley & Ella

Rani was our next door neighbour when we moved to Watervista Close.  She has two children, Ella and Marley – really great kids.  Rani is a super girl, she’s separated from the kids Dad, although he lives round the corner and they see him all the time.  Rani works full time in a pub in Midland, (she needs a bloody medal to work in Midland I can tell you – it’s FULL of nutters)!!!  We spent  Australia day with Rani and the kids and had a fabulous day. Her kids and ours spend a lot of time together – lovely family.

Jock

I know, we could have moved to Glasgow, it would have been cheaper and there are probably less Scots there!.

Jock (or Ian which is his real name) has the most dubious honour of being the first friend that we made here at The Vines. Top guy, real character, he has an estate agents, a winery called Jumbuck Hill (a very nice drop it produces aswell), and goodness knows what else, but I am sure he has plenty of other ‘balls’ in the air.
His past jobs include, working in a circus, think it was Billy Smarts, he has owned a pub, travel agents, property developer, landlord, the list is endless.

He has been here well over 20 years, and I think he has moved house at least twice since we got here, don’t know how many times he has moved in 20 years, he probably doesn't either.

Jock is I guess 65 ish, he is a serial family man, having at least two that I know about. One is all grown up and gone, then there is the one he has with Trina, are you ready for this?

Sean 10, Brodie 8, Jamie 7, Michaela 1!!!!!!
Perhaps some other balls would have been better off left in the air!! Rumour has it that Trina wants another one. Wonder if Jock knows.
I have another example of just how small the world really is.
I was at Jocks on the 24th April, partaking in his hospitality. I took a telephone call on my mobile and whilst on it, overheard Jock relaying one of his many tales to Little Keithy. What caught my attention was he mentioned the name 'Derek Sim'.
"Did you say Derek Sim Jock? Because I know a Derek Sim"
"Yeah" says Jock, "he used to live in Sutton Coldfield, but now he is back in Monifieth"
"I don't believe this, does he play golf?"
"Yeah, is is a very low handicapper, he also used to have a greetings card company"
"I don't ******* believe this. How do you know him?" I asked.
"I went to school with him!"
Derek Sim is a past captain at Moor Hall Golf Club!
Jock then proceeds to tell me that he had lunch with Derek a couple of weeks back when he visited the UK.
Then he rings him and hands the phone to me, and Derek gets me straight away. He tells me that he had mentioned to Jock during lunch that a friend had gone to live in Perth with his family. Of course Jock would not have a clue what my surname was, so didn't put two and two together.
I'm still flabbergasted now, just unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable.

No Michaela, they are fingers, your Mom has got what you want.

Trina (Wife of Jock)

Considerably younger than her Beau (yep and another Scot), I’d say circa 37/38.

Very quiet lady, mainly due to Michaela being almost permanently on the feed, if you know what I mean? Loves a drop or two of Corona, (Michaela will be addicted too me thinks), with the lemon in the top of course.

Keeps Jock in check too, and she may just be the brains behind the operation. Makes a mean pizza.

Where is Michaela!????

Sean, Brodie, Jamie, Michaela (Jock & Trina’s kids)
A picture paints a thousand words!



Michaela. Now where is Mom's right one when you need it?



Sean, Brodie and Jamie

Sean is a great all round sportsman, for his age, as for the girls, they are proper girlie and right cheeky little monkey's!

Darren (Dazza)

He is a Cockney, been here about 15 years, works for Telstra, the phone Company. He had Scottie living with him for a while as he and Tammy were having a break. Alcohol levels went through the roof in that time, but Scottie and Tammy got back together at Christmas, Darren has just about now recovered!!

He is a fine cook and loves his cars, boxing, scuba diving and golf.

Jackie (Dazza’s Girlfriend)

Great fun gal, she and Dazza have only just got together I think, knows how to enjoy herself. She has recently had her tits blown up, nice job too, but not seen the total result, I hasten to add, proper girly though.

Me and Our Wend took her recently to hit some golf balls on the range, but with exceptionally long nails and her new chest, (she said they were still a bit sore), hitting golf balls perhaps was not such a good idea, although she did get the hang of it towards the end.

I know the left one looks a bit on the large side, but they are both the same size honest. So she says!

David & Linda Hunt

Met David a couple of times in the UK before we got here, I was introduced to him by Bryan Garner.

One of life’s true gentlemen, he has been here about 5 years, perfect timing for him, sold his house and business in Leamington at the top of the market, arrived here when it was $3 to the pound. Built himself a magnificent home in Iluka, very near the beach, in the throws of building another one at the moment.

Have played a lot of golf with David since I got here, he has been playing about two years. We normally go to public courses, one is called Carramar, the other is called Hammersley.

David and Linda have become really good friends to us and helped us a lot since we arrived.

Linda has had a lot to contend with over the past two years, but recovering nicely. Has one of the most wicked laughs that I have ever heard, gives Our Wend a run for her money.

Has a heart of gold.

Midlanders!!
Peter and Niamh found these strange looking Aussies strolling around in the woods.

Colin & Jackie
Guess what, more flippin' Scots. Colin is crackers, Jackie is not quite so crackers.
Jackie is Mom to barman Scottie, and Colin is brother to Alan the hairdresser. Thats Colin in the earlier photo with Alan, he also has a nice tat. If you like that sort a thing!!




Loads a tats




The Girls


Micheal Bubblie (He said its spelt Buble, but who cares)
We went out one night and this bloke wouldn't stop singing while we were talking!!! Selfish Git.

Pros & Cons

We will have been here 4 months on the 1^st March, the days seem to just fly by.

We thought we would try to give you a bit of insight into the Aussie way of life from a new arrival prospective.

Everyone we meet couldn’t be more welcoming, in fact they are nearly all expats, who have done what we are doing, 5, 10, 15, 20+ years ago, most have kids that were born here. Clearly the ones we have met enjoy it and won’t be going back, but we have met a few who have experienced the ‘Boomerang’ effect. This is when they have arrived, didn’t like it, went home, didn’t like it, came back, didn’t like it and so on. Most end up returning and at some stage realise that Australia is for them.

The climate here is clearly the number 1 plus point. It’s 99% guaranteed, you can plan to do anything, it is never disrupted by the weather. In fact, even the short period that we have been here, we now take it for granted. Many decisions regarding outdoor activities are based on how hot it might be, unlike the UK not how cold or wet it will be!!

Kids sports activities are generally cancelled if its above 37 degrees, as do all works on building sites, but they get full pay. Almost like wet time in reverse I guess.

We have done stuff here, that I would not have contemplated back home, like paying up front for a 5 day cricket test match would be top of the list. I have seen more first class cricket here in the last two months, than I saw in my 52 years living in the UK.

I would not of attempted the Winnebago trip either, and that has been perhaps the highlight since we got here.

The kids have now started school and we are always planning to do stuff straight after they finish, golf, fishing, bike riding, pool, or the kids just play in the street with the other kids in the road, problems weather wise are just not an issue.

First fish ever for The Skerritts, caught by Little Niamh

Should have bought me specs really

Yuo are never gonna guess in a million years who fell in the river. we had only been there 10 minutes

Soaked

Damp

This is how you do it.

Most schools here look brand new, in fact Peter’s is, its 12 months old and has 150 pupils. His now issue Apple Mac wordbooks instead of exercise books, can’t tell you how excited he was about that.

2nd February 2011

Little Angels!!!!!!!

Me and Our Wend have even taken to the golf course on a few occasions, the only slight worry is, would it be too HOT! (the weather not the golf), last Wednesday we underestimated it and I damn nearly died. If it wasn’t for the fact we only played nine holes, (I actually only played 8, I walked the last hole!!) and the couple of ice cool beers at the end I probably would have died.

Me and Our Wend have not ventured out in the evenings on our own to any of the many restaurants that are in this area. We have been to a couple of places and taken the kids, these eateries came highly recommended by the locals defined as in the ‘fabulous’category. Well I gotta tell ya, they ain’t. There is a distinct lack of good quality places to eat. The two we have eaten at were German theme, which most of them seem to be, much along the lines of Austrian ski resorts, German sausage, pigs knuckles, sour kraut, that sort of thing. Won’t be going back in a hurry I can tell you.

Ischgul, no, Swan Valley, WA

I’ am told that there as some restaurant in the ‘seriously’ good category, these seem to be in the more affluent areas, which are a ways from where we are, so we may give them a try during the day when the kids are at school. Watch this space.

There are loads of McDonalds, Red Rooster, Hungry Jacks (Burger King in the UK), KFC and Chicken Treat. Whilst we have visited some of these once or twice, judging by the size of our Aussie mates these are by far the most popular eateries. Some of the kids her are ginormous. Considering the emphasis on sport, it’s pretty incredible.

I was at a petrol station recently, there was a young girl, a very large young girl at least 20 stone, who came out of the kiosk, went to a manhole and proceeded to kneel down, I assume she was taking some sort of reading from an underground tank. She was wearing grey track suit bottoms, which took some guts to wear, most of the said guts were on display, cheers thanks for that. As she walked, vast amounts of her moved like they had a life of their own, as if dozens of small animals were stuck beneath her skin and trying to get out. Anyway, as she bent over, and at a quick glance I could have sworn that it was the rear end of a baby elephant, truth. Every detail but the little grey tail.

There are very few indian or chinese restaurants, the ones that are here are not supposed to be too good, but not even tried them yet. We did have a curry in a market place recently and it was not too bad to be honest.

We do a lot of barbecuing; as do all the folk we have met here. Most folk tend to invite you around at say 5-5.30, and the evening is pretty much over by 8/9. Yeah, I know it suits me as I’m falling asleep about that time. Yeah, yeah.

The quality of all the meat here is ‘sensational’, to quote an Aussie. We have overdosed on the meat and never had a bad cut of beef, and all the chicken is corn fed, and the lamb is sensational as well. I could only ever eat the welsh lamb back home but here it’s fantastic.

The transport system here is first class. The train stations are spotless, trains and buses are clean, air conditioned, run on time and all the staff are white, speak good English, so polite and clearly enjoy their job.

The roads are in great nick, there is no litter strewn alongside them, there are few islands, it’s mostly traffic lights. I have to say when you are sitting at them you almost lose the will to live they hold you for so long, but it seems to work.

I would say that Perth drivers are abysmal, probably the worst I have ever come across. They have absolutely no road sense and are totally unaware of anyone else on the road. Not just women drivers, all drivers.

I was listening to a traffic report on the radio the other day; they were reporting a traffic jam on one of the north Perth roads, caused by two Emu’s who were on the loose, different eh? They also tell you to watch out for the kangaroo’s at dawn and dusk, as they are attracted to the lights off your car. Most mornings we see dead ones at the side of the road. Much like squirrels, pheasants and badgers back home but much, much bigger.

The other stuff our Aussie boys and girls are really obsessed with are tattoos and piercings, there is hardly anyone who doesn’t have one or the other or both. I sometimes wonder whether I just notice them because most folk are dressed for the beach all the time, but there does seem to be a way of life attached to it. I personally think the Māori ones are not too bad, but here they really are obsessed with brighter and more colourful the better, some have whole bodies that look like Hawaiian shirts.

As for piercings, most, girls in particular, have more metal in them than a grenade victim.

Newspapers, really only one daily, The West Australian, much along the lines of the Mail. However they do have at least 4/5 pages of ‘Discreet’ adverts. One just recently said “I do what your wife won’t”, I sent here a text asking how much to clean the windows, never got a reply, must have been bullshit!!!! Very little international news in any of them, very concentrated on what’s going on in Australia, and more in particular, Western Australia. Sunday, again only one, The Times, has more supplements than Holland & Barrett.

There is an abundance of shopping centres, the really big ones by us are at Joondalup, Karrinyup and Ellenbrook. They really are spectacular places, the only UK name that I have seen in any of them is Specsavers, no M&S, NEXT, Dotty P’s, etc, etc, told ya, a cartel!!

There are only three supermarkets here, Coles, Woolworths and IGA, and believe me they are running a cartel. We heard recently that Aldi were trying to get a foothold over here, but they have been knocked back, no-one really knows why. All I would say that the supermarket guys here are the old style brewers of the UK, they control pretty much everything. All three are the top performers on the stock exchange, there financials are consistently in the ‘brilliant’ category. Always, always tipped as a buy.

Cost of living is pretty batty, not helped by the cartel and more importantly the current exchange rate, milk $3 a litre, bread $4 a loaf, eggs $4 a dozen, corn flakes $6 a box. I have no idea how they compare to the UK, I just here Our Wend talking to others about it!! What I can tell you is a round of golf with a buggy here at The Vines is 62 quid, 9 holes at Joondalup with a buggy is 30 quid, 9 holes at Chequers or Carramar, without a buggy is 9 quid (the Pro at Carramar is from Aberystwyth would you believe. I turned up there in me Aberdovey golf shirt and he asked if I had played there, small world or WHAT),  a 24 pack of Carlton Fusion (in bottles the same size as Corona, its lovely stuff, I’m addicted, just gonna go and get meself one, be back in a bit…………………………ahhhhhh that’s better) is 27 quid, a single bottle in a bar is 3.75 quid, pint of Carlton Draught (bit like Carling) is 5 quid, a nice bottle of red 20 quid at the golf club, a nice bottle of fizzy red from the bottle shop is 5 quid, a litre of fuel can be anything from 76p to 87p, depending on the day of the week (really, fuel can jump 5/6p a litre overnight, the locals tell you not to fill up on a Tuesday or Thursday) them are the numbers that count eh lads.

The kids here are very respectful to adults.  We were going into the public library the other day and there were a few kids kicking a football in this huge foyer, nothing too drastic, so I told them that they should be doing that outside, good as gold, no lip, just picked the ball up and went outside. Had another time when a bunch of kids got up and left a McDonalds without clearing all the rubbish off the table. The young manager ran after them and call them back, again they just came back cleared it all away, no drama’s no lip. I really hope they hang onto that sort of thing.

You probably heard about the fires and cyclones here. Fires were pretty bad, there were two fire areas, one in The Swan Valley, less than a mile from us as the crow flies, the other is more serious and south of The Swan River, about 10 miles as the crow flies. They have just put out an arrest warrant for a police man who they reckon started the fire south of the river. They reckon he was doing some a sort of angle grinding and the sparks are what started it. He has done a bunk and they are now very worried 'cus they can't find him.

The cyclones, bad ones anyway, were nowhere near us, neither were the floods. Mind you it was very touching how all the Aussies stuck together during those times, there were loads of fund raising events for the folk in Queensland, all very patriotic. Check this out.

On Saturday just gone, at Karrinyup Shopping Centre (yes, Western Australia) the Variety Club Youth Choir organized a FLASH MOB where they all were incognito in the Food Hall, and started standing up in groups singing "We are Australians" 

The purpose was to raise money for the QLD floods. Each time it is clicked on, money is raised thru google ads, SO PLEASE WATCH!!!!!! It is a beaut way of suppporting those poor ozzies over on the other side of our country.

Goto - http://www.youtube.com/storytellermedia

 

I had a call from the Department of Immigration yesterday asking when we were going home. I asked why, they said that since we got here they have had nothing but fires, floods and cyclones!!!!!

We had a further demonstration of how patriotic Australians are when we went into Perth City Centre for the Australia Day celebrations. We were at Langley Park, right along the side of the river Swan, great spot. Loads for the kids to do, live bands, Eval Keneval type motorbike displays, air displays, helicopter fly byes, inflatable slides, bucking bronco's, beach volley ball areas ALL FREE!! Most of the areas were what they designated as alcohol free, this definitely contributed to the complete lack of aggro. At 8pm they had the most incredible fire work display that I had ever seen, all launched from 7 floating platforms in the middle of The Swan River, lasted 30 minutes, allegedly cost $500,000, I can believe it. No sooner had the fireworks finished, everyone wrapped up and set off home, all very organised, buses and trains laid on, very civilised.

No, its our next door neighbour, Raani.

Noisy b******s

Ride 'em cowgirl

There were two bucking bronco's abreast. The idea was that it would be the first to fall off. After half an hour, he still hadn't fallen off so he was asked to get off!!!!!!

They made me wear the helmet.



They really don't like having their picture taken do they (Ella from next door)?



And he is still bloody on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Finally, thought this might be of interest to all your construction folk.

The Oswals, an Indian couple, were having this house built in Mosman Park reputedly costing $70 million.

Their family fertilizer company here in Perth has just gone tits for $900 million. The administrators have seized the proposed house, his $50 million yacht, $35 million Gulfstream jet, plus his Ferraris and various other top of the range motor vehicles.

He had a local shipping company send 7 articulated vehicles and enter his current residence in Perth, under cover of darkness at 4am in the morning, to gather all their belongings and send them to Dubai, to his new abode which sits close by to a $400 million dollar fertilizer plant he is having built in The Emirate!!!!!
All the subbies, or Tradies as they call them over here, were not allowed to have any meat products of any kind in there tucker bags (eh, more Aussie speak). So, instead of eating it they used to put in in the concrete mixer and it got all mashed up, its now part of the concrete construction of the partly finished, never to be completed house!!

They ain’t coming back to Perth.