'When I'm dancing on the danger line'

Went to see Duran Duran in concert last Saturday at The Sandalford Estate, only about 10 minutes up the road. Same place we saw Buble.

Just managed a swift one before going in.

Great venue, everybody sitting around picnicing and getting steadly sloshed.

You couldn't take your own grog, as Sandalford would have missed an opportunity to give it to you right up the 'Aristotle Onasis'. Very cheap white or red wine 15 quid a bottle!! and 330mm cans of Heiniken 8 quid a can! Robbin' b******s.

Our Wend and Libby tried to smuggle some wine in though, as you might know, Libby managed it, Our Wend got caught. They only confiscated it and they gave it back to you when you left.
Got home circa 11.30, slightly the worst for wear, starting watching Villa Arsenal, fell asleep.
Our Wend was not too good most of Sunday I can tell ya.
The Skerritts in Oz

Happy St Patricks Day

A belated Happy St Patricks Day to one and all.
Left to right, Dylan (he is normally happier than that, honest), Rachel, Lisa, Brad (the tall fella) yours truly and Our Wend.
God I'm missing my Guinness.

The Skerritts in Oz.

Its Bloody Big

Just in case you are all concerned about the cyclone that has hit Port Hedland in Western Australia or the awful flooding that is in Queensland, you needn't worry.
Port Hedland is the equivalent in distance from Perth as Madrid is from Birmingham!! In fact, the northern extremity of Western Australia is almost the same distance from Perth (2742 miles) as Morrocco is from Brum.
As far as the floods in Queensland are concerned, they are as far away from Perth as New York is from Brum.
Yeah, like I said its bloody big.
The Skerritts in Oz.

Jesus Christ!!!!

Our Wend did a pizza delivery the other evening, only to be greeted at the door by The Man, himself.
Honest, full beard, loin cloth, sandals, scared the living daylights out of her!

He'd had a shave by the time I'd gone back and snapped him!

'Anyway Our Wend' I said, 'he doesn't look like JC', she just kept saying 'O God, O God, O God'!!!!!!!!!!!
Still v v busy here, takings going in the right direction, for how long who knows. We had our best week ever week before last, then beat it last week. Very time consuming I have to say, but it gets a little easier every week.

I did a delivery last week where the boys asked if I wanted to have a beer, which I had to decline, then they said I could stay and watch THE show if I wanted to, took me a bit longer to decline that invitation! Had to get over to Duncraig for another delivery didn't I?!!!!!!

This was obviously before the show started. Anyway how is one family meatlovers gonna feed that lot?

Talking about the pizza delivery front, we deliver to the most unusual places at peoples homes, some of these Aussies are strange. People sit in the garage next to their beloved Harley, Ute, camper, or classic car, or varying sizes of piles of crap, I have delivered to a guy sitting in his Scobby Doo type motor home, even people sitting in their front garden.

Yeah, and there was a dog in it!

Went to this v v nice house recently, tiny little dog greeted me on the drive, absolute Babe answered the door, I asked her if it was her dog, she said it was and I said how unusual it was that it didn't bark. She said 'O, he probably thought you were my Dad'

'O thank you very much' (that bloody hair dye ain't working is it?) 

'O, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that,' she said, 'its just that there hasn't been a man around here for quite sometime'

Unusually enough I was totally lost for words, and I'm sure I blushed. Just really didn't know what to say next! Just hoping she orders a pizza again soon, got loads of snappy answers now!!!!
The Skerritts in Oz

Patersons Stadium

Got an invite recently to go to the "The Home' of Aussie Rules footy here in Perth.
Attached to the invite was for Peter to join in what they call 'Auskick'.
Basically, we got there about 2 hours before the game, and Peter gets to go on the pitch and have an hours worth of Aussie Rules coaching from current players of West Coast Eagles and The Fremantle Dockers. These two sides are fierce rivals and both use the same stadium for home games.
For the record, in all the time Peter has been here he has never played Aussie Rules, but good as gold he went and joined in.
Fantastic experience, because there are kids here who would die to be able to go on the Patersons Stadium pitch and kick a footy around with some of the most famous players of today.

Bless him, he was one of the oldest there, but he stuck at it.

Soon be over!

Big place. You definitely need binoculars to see anyone scoring at the other end.

I got to people watch for an hour, my God I saw some sites I can tell you.
Have to say though, what an absolutely brilliant family day out everyone makes an Aussie Rules game. I can honestly say that in the 4 hours I was in my seat, I never heard one swear word of any description from a single person. amazing, just amazing, when you consider that booze is freely available to take back to your seat to drink whilst you are watching the match and most males you meet here can't put a sentence together without a least one expletive in it. Bloody brilliant. If the ref makes a poor decision, do you know what the frowd do? They boo him, its really funny when you think what happens in The Premiership. The Premiership could learn a lot. Also never saw even a hint of aggravation, just 20,000 people having a great time.
We shall be going as a family, if we can get tickets (its sold out every week of the season I'm told) as soon as we can.
The Skerritts in Oz

Going Dutch!!!!

Saturday night, 11pm, very last delivery.
Arrive within the 25minutes of the lady placing her order, (its not luck you know!!)
Guy answers the door, all very jovial, 'Hey Muyt, aaahs it goin'?' seys he.
'Good matey, all good thanks' seys I.
'Wad I owe ya?',
'25 bucks please mate'
'Now where'd I put me wallet?'
Whilst this litle exchange is going on, I noticed to my right their lounge and there was a little movement by someone moving behind the living room door. Have I caught 'em at it I thought. Then I heard someone was messing with the stereo, and as the guy came back with the money, a rather large, no in fact a very large, heavily tattoed fully clothed female appeared with a $5 dollar note clasped in her hand. No, lets call that, clamped in her fist!
As the guy withdrew a 20 & a 5 from his wallet, she proceeded to push the $5 note into his wallet and wink provocatively at him. I thought I was going to gack on the spot.
He then laughing said, 'Ya don't see that very often do ya mate?'
I thought to myself, what do I say? Does he mean?
'A woman paying for anything'
'A woman offering to go Dutch'
'A big tattoed fatty who has such control over her eyelids'
'A woman with her hand in your wallet, putting money IN'
'Our someone giving you $5, when they are DEFINITELYgonna eat $20 worth'
I took a chance and just said, 'It was never gonna be the 20 was it?'
I could still hear him pissing himself as I went up the drive, and she saying, "what d say, what d say, what d say?'
The Skerritts in Oz.

Ders a Rat in de Kitchen What am I ganna Do?

Last Friday, coming to the end of the shift, circa 10ish, we had a couple of guys standing outside having a smoke whilst waiting for their pizza. Suddenly, one of them came in and said
" A rat has just run past me and into your shop"

He was right, there it was, running around where the customers stand. Good as gold, the guy whipped off his flip flop ( I know rats don't wear flip flops!!It was the guys flip flop, or thongs as they call them over here) and proceeded to try and usher it back out through the door, but it kept going behind the door and bumping into the glass.

By this time, Our Wend and Aisling are on top of the work bench at the back of the shop, screaming like banshees.

Me, this guy and Dylan, the young lad who works for us, are at front of house desperately trying to coax this small rat, back out through the door, but it was having none of it.
I was standing in the gap between the wall and the counter, which is the access to behind the counter, when the little bastard ran straight for me.

Oh my God, what do I do, so all I could think of was to kick it! Which I did in spectacular style, it went soaring into the air, straight back out through the doorway about 20 feet away, and came tumbling down on the pavement and scurried away into the night.

I did me Ravenelli impersonation round the shop and carpark, to tumultuous applause.

We then had to do a quick clean up, mop and the like. There was only a little bit shit in the customer area but there was a fair bit of wee on the work bench at the back of the shop!!!!!!!!!!!
The little bastard then spent the next half hour running back and forth like a drunk across the car park
The Skerritts in Oz